[H-GEN] The OS Express

[BRAND, Frank]

Some of you may have seen this but if not...here it is


DOS Air
 -------
All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push
it
until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground
again.
Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on,
etceteras.

Windows '95 Airlines
 --------------------
The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants are all very
attractive
and the pilots very capable.  The fleet is immense.  After your plane
arrives
6 months late, you begin to wonder why it has not arrived yet.  Your jet
takes
off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it
explodes
in mid air for no apparent reason.

Mac Airways
 -----------
The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel the
same 
and act the same.  When asked questions about the flight they reply that
you 
don't want to know, don't need to know, and would you please return to
your
seat and watch the movie.

OS/2 Skyways
 ------------
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers
milling 
about.  Airline personnel walk around, apologizing profusely to
customers in 
hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets
outside
the terminal on the field.  They tell each passenger how good the real
flight
will be on these new jets  and how much safer it will be than Windows
Airlines,
but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to
finish
the flight systems.

Fly Windows NT
 --------------
All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the
chairs 
in the outline of a plane.  They all sit down, flap their arms and make
jet
swooshing sounds as if they are flying.

Wings of OS/400
 ---------------
The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest
planes
that
ever flew and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if they
are
fast.   The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need,
though
the drinks cost $15 a pop.  Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless
you
have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in
the
frequent flyer club.

MVS Airlines
 ------------
The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of
technicians
check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane
has at 
least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers. All the passengers
scramble
aboard, as do the necessary complement of 200 technicians.  The pilot
takes
his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realize
that 
the plane is too big to get through the hangar doors!

UNIX Express
 ------------
Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the
airport.  They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what  kind
of
plane they want to build and how to put it together.  Eventually, they
build 
several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some
passengers 
actually reach their destinations.  All passengers believe they got
there.


Frank Brand,  Transformation Project  SUNCORP-METWAY Ltd.

Phone: +61 7 3836 1942      Fax:+61 7 3836 1021   E-Mail:
frank.brand at suncorp.metway.com.au
The contents of this message are the views of the author and do not
necessarily reflect the views of SUNCORP-METWAY Ltd.

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